The portion about the mortifying ordeal of being known comes at the end. He describes a dream his friend relayed to him once. A staircase to descend and, as you did, what people said about you rang out. The catch? The worst of it came first and you had to get through it all to get to the good. Kreider writes, “There is no way I would ever make it more than two and a half steps down such a staircase, but I understand its terrible logic: if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.” The rest of the essay talks about the way we talk about others. The way we live in fear of hearing what people actually think about us. The way we sometimes bond over mutually making fun of someone else. We humans have a hard time acknowledging people can faults in us and love us all the same. (Even as we do that exact thing with other people.) We shrink away from being known that closely. We flinch. Getting past the flinch, though, is the only way to get those rewards of being loved. Here are a few book recommendations to help you get a little more comfortable with the mortifying ordeal of being known. Happy reading and happy vulnerability. Of course, it’s going to be hard work when you start working on yourself. I never said vulnerability wasn’t scary. So, here are some self-care books to soothe you. And here are some escapist reads if things get to be a bit much. Then, get right back to it!
